ken: yeah! jack: sniff, sniff my poopy butt! (*thud*) everybody: *laughs* jack: jesus christ! felix: got em! (*ding*) jack: gotti felix: are you kidding me?! (nope)
jack: good job felix- argh fuck!!! *laughs* (karma bitch) ken: i'm the winner! yeah! (jack: *laughs*) jack: i need to learn my buttons! (ken: i did something with my life!) (ken: oh yeah!) jack: okay, what are buttons? what do we do? felix: argh! save me! save me! heeelp!!! *screams* jack: come here! come here! come here! jack: get off me! get off me, ken! no! no! no! ken, you killed both of us! jack: get off, ken! (ken: no!) get off, ken! (ken: nooo!) shit! shi- (ken: nooo!) i might have fucked myself ov- jack: you're coming with me, ken! *laughs* (ken: let me go!) look at felix in the background!
jack and ken: *laughs* jack: what the fu- (jacks character glitches out) jack: what happened? jack: come over here! (ken: i got points!) come over here, bitches! jack: [weird accent] yay! [normal accent] who wants to go? who wants to go? no! no, ken! no! *short scream* ken: *laughs* jack: this game is scary! (ken: yeah!) jack: i don't like it! ken: look who the winner is! jack: *laughs* (ken: *grunts*) felix: no!
ken: yeaheheh! (jack: come here!) oh no! jack: luchador wrestler go! ken: nooo! jack: *grunts* (ken: i can't move!) jack: go, ke- get off, ken! let go of me! jack: let go of me! jack: *laughs evilly* come here! felix: the sign is coming, the sign is coming! jack: okay, we'll survive this, ken. on a count of three, jump! one, two, three, jump!
jack: argh! leet skills- no! jack: don't throw me off, we have to jump again! felix: ken has to win, he hasn't... it's a condition. jack: yes! (jack and ken: *laughs*) jack: i'm not good at this game! felix: i don't think anyone is. felix: fuck this. (ken: yeah...) i'm out. ken: yeah... felix: hey ken!
ken: what? jack: *laughs* *pewds and ken making out in the corner* felix: can you stop fucking rapping me, you asshole? ken: grab him! jack: *grunts* come here, bitches! ken: ow, my back of my hair! (jack: *laughs*) ow! jack: *laughs* it's a wig! it's a wig! get off! jack: how do i lift you?
felix: what am i doing? jack and ken: *grunts* ken: how dare you! jack: i'm running away! i'm running away! i'm running away! don't get me! *grunts* [weird accent] yeeaah! hey, superman gooo! [normal accent] what are you doing? *laughs* felix: ow, my eye! jack: *laughs* come here! come here! *grunts* (*loud punching*) jack: ow, fuck! ken: *laughs* jesus!
felix: yeah, that's right! jack: i don't know the buttons yet! what's do? ken: what are you t- oh! felix: no! no! ken: get off me! my leg! ken: *grunts* jack: come here! ken: get in there! jack: argh! come here, ken!
jack: fucking- ow! *laughs* let go! jack: nooo! god- nooo! *laughs* ken: yeeaah! (jack: i jumped into my own!) jack: argh! come here! ken: oh god! jack: clothesline! *laughs* can't we all just get along? *laughs* ken: group hug! jack: i want- just be my friend! be my friend! ken: i'll never let you go!
ken: aw shit! jack: *grunts* shit, shit! ow! i'm not even able to touch the ground anymore. nooo! jack: *grunts* i'm so tired! (ken: oh no, jack!) argh! (ken: no!) argh! (ken: no!) argh! get me out! get me out! argh! save me! save me! jack: *laughs* save me! save me! felix: i'm trying to help you! jack: no you're not! i'm out! i'm out! yay! jack (in a weird accent) and ken: yay! yay! yay! ken: yeah! yeah! jack: you guys just keep fighting over there, alright? i'll be fine. no! get away from me! this is my party zone! my party zone!
jack: you wanna go? (ken: you wanna go, bro?) you wanna go? you wanna go? felix: stop fighting! jack: *laughs* c'mon, bring it! bring it! bring it, bro! bring it, bro! jack: *laughs* (ken: my toupee! why? ooow! no!) yaaay! yaaay! everybody in! what?! *laughs* (ken: yeah!) felix: what?! (jack: *coughs*) ken: i win! jack: i'm gonna get killed by a train. ken: my dream come true! ken: why, jack? i offer you my ass and this is how you repay me!
jack: *screams then laughs* felix, don't die so fast this time! felix: okay! jack: come here, ken! (ken: let me wash up that booty!) felix: smell good, girl? (jack: come here, ken!) jack: come here, ken! ken: smell my pits! ken: why? i don't wanna come here! i wanna wash up that booty! ergh! jack: shit, how do we get out? how do we get out? (ken: i gotta get back up!) jack: oh no! argh fuck!
jack: hey, i'm still alive!!! jack: nah, i'm dead... jack: ken, are you alive!? ken: we were just knocked down, i guess. (jack: oh, alright. okay.) felix: ayyy! jack: i'm getting out of this subway if it's the last thing i do! jack: lemme out! lemme out! *imitates crying* felix: nice and wet. ken: oh, it's so wet over here!
jack: what are you guys doing? jack: stop in the name of superman! oh, hello. ken: aw, yeah! put your face in there! motorboat that shit! (*felix and ken moan like strange whale-like creatures*) ken: let go of my hair, you bitch! (jack: *laughs*) jack: it's a wig! we all know it's fake. (ken: ah,my toupee! no!) jack: argh! nooo, felix! (felix: fuck you, that's right!) felix: i'm the winner!- oh god! felix: god damn it!
jack: i'm gonna win. i'm gonna win. ken: fuck you! jack: argh no!!! felix: how did i do that?! jack: how did you do that? (felix: *screams in amazement*) jack: bitch! jack: come here, bitch! felix: no! no, no, no. (ken: oh crap!) jack: come here, bitches! come here! come here, kids! you're going in timeout!
jack: oh no! no! *laughs* come here! ken: ah shit! ken: alright, felix. (*train hits felix and ken*) jack: ow ow! yes! felix: did it! jack: i did it! felix: nah, i'm just sleeping. we're just sleeping. ken: how'd you get back up there? jack: i just- the train hit me up. ken: oh.
ken: ow, why you do this to- ow! ow. (jack and felix: *laughs*) felix: hey, i'm back! jack: argh, jesus! felix: he won because of it. ken: i win! jack: it's just psh! felix: hey! oh, shit! felix: oh, shit! (ken: oh my gosh, i can't handle the stress.) (laughing break)
jack: oh no! ken: yeah! yeah! (jack: fuck!) yeah! yeah! you like that shit? jack: keep headbutting, keep headbutting. ken: how did you do the headbutt? jack: just keep pressing the 'crouch' button lightly. (punching, laughing then sign hit! then laughing again but they're laughing more loudly than the sign hit) felix: come on, jack. let's fuck him. jack: let's fuck him. let's fuck him up! ken: no! no! no!
jack: in the corner! fuck him up! yeah death metal! *imitates death metal* ken: i'm too old for death metal! (jack: *laughs*) jack: you're never too old for death metal! ken: i'll show you real metal, bitches! *imitates "real" metal* jack: you're from the south, you're all country music. fuck you. ken: country music! *imitates country music* jack: oh god, we all did a wave there- *laughs* jack: the headbutt is my favourite thing ever. *laughs* jack: whoa! what the- what's happening?!
jack: i disappeared, i've gone through the map. ken: woo! jack: no! [high pitch to low pitch] no no no no no! (ken: i said don't worry!) jack: get in there! get in there! felix: get in there, bitch! jack: *laughs* i headbutted him! ken: argh! jack: just keep headbutting him! felix: you stay in, motherfucker!
jack: no! how did he get out? jack: come here! i'mma hug him! submit! submit! down on the ground, down on the ground! felix: stop resisting! ken: i'm not resisting! jack: ma'am, stop resisting! jack: i got your badge number, pig! jack: your mic's really low, mark. mark: aaah, piss. hang on. ken: it does sound better, though.
mark: how's that? felix: lot better. mark: i'm a red daddy! red daddy's coming in. jack: right face button is... (i have no idea what they're saying) mark: hey guys! mark: hey, why don't you come with daddy? (jack: no! god almighty!) *laughs* ken: i saved him! jack: yeah! fuck.
jack: *laughs* (ken: i like that ass!) jack: come here! i'mma grind your face on a train! jack: ahaha! felix: and the winner is... felix: ...cinnamontoastken! (jack: get over here, bitches!) ken: cinnamontoastken! (jack: get over here!) no jack, don't do it! (jack: get over here, bitches!) felix: let's get 'em all down, let's get ken dow- jack: mark's character is like what- (mark: oh my gosh, boys! stop fighting for one second! c'mon, boys!) jack (finally uninterrupted): mark's character is what can- oh! (interrupted again?!) jack: why do i keep glitching out?! (mark: oh my god!) what the fuck? help!
mark: stay down! jack: why? (mark: yeah!) i didn't die! i'm still over there! jack (finally uninterrupted!): wait, mark's character looks like what ken's character was trying to avoid. ken: let's become a human centipede! yeah! mark: hey! jack: okay. mark: how do i flop? (*mark headbutts ken*) ken: *laughs* jack: get him! get him! throw him in the ocean! (ken: got him!)
jack: shit! shit! shit! lemme out! argh! mark: you guys did it! good for you! (jack: uh oh, uh oh, uh oh! this is bad, this is bad, this is-) ken: ah shit! jack: thank you! thank- *screams* felix (first time he spoke in years): come on! jack: i appreciate it, ken! mark: i like this game! jack: okay, everyone grab mark! mark: no! no! jack: fuck him up! fuck him up!
mark: fuck off! jack: oh, i have you, ken! sorry! felix: got him! jack: nooo! (ken: shit! jack: felix! argh! yes! yes! yes! (mark: i'm okay!) argh fuck! felix: stop head butting jack! (weird scream) (mark: whoop! nope nope nope nope) jack: oh.... oh ken's alive! mark: wha- how are you alive?! mark and jack: what?? ken: yeaaa jack: k-ken save me! (ken: yea) save me, ken! felix: oh god oh god oh god jack: yes! yea-noo! ugh! ken: grab my head~ (mark and jack grunting) mark: please! jack: get away from me you fucking red bitch! mark: please! jack: no! nooooo hohoho... yay im alive!
felix: jesus christ! (everyone laughing softly) jack: why does my character keep glitching out? ken: i think it's your cape! jack: oh maybe. hey, our puddle is gone! where'd our puddle go? aww man~ ken:(weird voice)the puddle isn't here jack: we had a puddle before felix: ow.... jack: fuck you felix. come here ken:mah eyesight isnt as good as it used to be jack: come here you sweed (pewdie pie making wied noises) come here you swedish! jack: come here you smorcus torta! jack come here you fita ken: aughhh jack": come here you fita pewds"ayeeee (jack: jabala fit dora) ken: aww yea, the ass jack:come here! i'll get you, you swedish
pewds: brofist, you wanna brofist? jack:el veta ken:almost got it ken: and... yes! i gatit jack:felix! i brofist(3x) jack: c'mere c'mere around this pole ken: smell my finger! jack *laughs* ehh pull my finger mark: hey jack, can i party here? jack: yay! we're making a congalaush ehhhh~ ken:ow my two pai pewds: no no no jack:c'mon everybody ken: we gotta go this way jack: okay (obedient little boy) (jack laughs) jack"yay! oh you guys are still alive... im the only one in the track..what? fuck! jack: dammit! can't see me. i can't get up. daddy can't.
ken: jack, get my hand. *laughing* jack: i can't get up! get up, green man! jack: get up luchador, you can do it! ken?:jack...mark:jack, get my hand. (jack: i'm so passed) jack:i'm so passed out. (ken & mark: get my hand. ken:oh shit!) jack: i can't get up! jack: i'm dead, im dead mark:i'll drag you off into the offscreen jack:t-thats just what it is, im dead ken: felix, where are you?.... oh there goes jack (jack: oh jesus. i'm back, bitches.) *laughing* jack: wait, am i alive? ow!!!! ken:aughhhh *laughing* jack: what happened? *hitting mark* urgh. (mark: ow!) mark: yeahhhhh, everybody's fightin' so good
jack: ahhh. ah! *laughing loudly* ken:oh oh my head pewds:oh oh jack: dammit *everyone laughs* mark: oh geez jack:yeah, thats what you get ken mark:auhg, dontkillme mark: hug hug hug.. aughhh jack: praise the booty! praise the booty! ken:praise that ass gurl pewds:heh, praise that ass gurl ken: praise that ass ken:letmeseewhatyougot mark:fallen eh jack:laugh (everyone:bein drunk) jack:i cant do annything. mark:i cant do annything.... ah, shit ken:mark nooo~ jack:ahh fuck mark:boink pewds:i going to save you guys ken: take my-(jack: come here yea- yes) ken:c'mon yes get your butt oh yeah oh yeah ohyeah maybe i can't wait to eat that ass doe that have said yes i mean that assbut fuck my mickey
i don't you pour it in that house isthat yeah no yeah no no out you got put it that way yeah haha yeah people gotta level oh my god get back oh i want to share back andforth oh shit like a pro you broke my cake out ones oh i died it's like a dog when it crashes as withher lap have you got worms felix hey what'sgoing on haha
it should be getting gas spirit beauty player is really o.o tpgoatee me oh did he attack you around i can't live this way i can you knowwhere i'd like you live like a hero just because i am i here when a littleweight we got your product i my life me oh yeahoh yeah bitch yeah oh no i want it no i want it oh what thefuck happened there is some of that yeah that's better yes yes fuck my life
no no no i'm not flat by back to check i'm picking the due to the cape anymorelook that baby hey me up please god damn it with yousick what people oh well they're out of itnow right then yeah yeah yeah before we win yeah this is our superherotan i made it yeah oh looks like you boyshear me a whole time come on and let those guys fuck eachother fight it out fuck you guys yo yo guys ok this one wehave to jump
thank you thank you yeah that's rightlisten this movie junk you're ready to jump great jump how can you tell hey can you do it yet i'm gonna say makesure to hold on 10 you got a grip nah i'm gripping kit iwait there or - don't get a driver in here and grab that gravity frankie okay let go i'm scared yeah out your help no now here's thesuperhero fucks hey guys oh def all i can tell ya whereare you
i really have you fuck haha salad ass what other part nevermind haha oh god ohgod oh god jack shit jump you didn't go haha for shit jack's back i'm going to see if i canget in - don't you don't talk she can sit backlet go oh hey hey hey hey he did ask yeah i mean it haha someone's going to give up you can holdit longer than i have i'm a diver he jumped on the distillersand the truck
i mean there are you in the drunkdriving the truck gasps oh i don't you do that i don't know what nail it nail that people in the truck wait for the action was closed ok heyman are you are you are hey yeah thanks alex let me out yeah they got my cape cancel i feel you set up for fucking big now god
haha get you a stupid as to pay thinghere in there ya hear i'm gonna hate what you guyswant to get a solid head but again fuck you can't no no no no track no yeah yeah because my kid i'm a superhero find evidence that therethere there you got me dude i need to say plans canneeds me to save you can come on tapped into my ass in every on my homeph poking me and get the accurate without wow we got him jack yay live without you jack
haha oh no i didn't change my gradeanyway there was an updraft let go of my arm pit hair jesus you're nothingwithout your hat kicking with my hand go black system hey there i am i'm up in the top cornerhere i'll get you hey i got a risk up he's gone and i know i'm far like thatyou're like the blue man from the watchman you just reappear haha dr. manhattan and the wall overhere now oh god my characters my current ismoving on his own why i'm not pressing any buttons to press any buttons on mycharacters moving stop it
what the fuck suspect now fuck hey i'm back yeah i got me bitch oh you're so nerdy yeah fuck this guy yeah right no way oh my god your character so glad she canye i think that they want to keep this time yes - host yeah i got like out let go youfucking god damn it later okay i'm holding on
i feel it's jack wow well thank you sonof a bitch is still hanging on to fuck shit kickin it becomes a problem yeah hey who's left on it bitch amirgrabbed an american flyer okay after this after this one i'm gonnacome and get you no i'm coming to get you know i'm acomin to get you i'm coming for you yay at the state yeah i heard something to get you
i'm gonna vomit, i'm like a dog fuck. yay