hey john! are you all ready to do some hard work. you bet he is! ritchie, go show your cousin up to the guest room. i want to talk to your uncle. hold up! don't forget this. have a beautiful summer! huh?! how much do you need this time? you're an absolute joke! but i am trying my hardest here! help me! please, i am begging!
i've got this game for the nes, it's banned in like 73 countries. probably more! do you wanna have a quick blast on it? 'night then. bit of a quiet one again today. go and see how's your cousin doing. he should have been here by now. holy shit! do you wanna go play footie or something? interesting. you really are whoopi goldberg from that swayze film! i knew it! but shit, man. i'm not sure killing a ghost is cool. we've gotta do something with casper here because if my dad finds him, well, he'll have something to say. some fat idiot will probably eat this and not think twice. c'mon, let's get out of here!
mayor stan! the man! give me anything but don't give me one of your horrible dog burgers. it's not "dog". it's only the best beef money can buy, sir! well, it's beef at least. hmm... why not? it's a "burger blanc"! a local speciality! it's a miracle! the business is saved! i need you boys to get me some more of that white meat. i'm running out. but it's dead ghost! i couldn't care if it was dead rat, please! i am begging.
i dunno, dad... thank you! you're the best! there's a lot of stories about this place. i heard the owner was losing business but others say he lost his mind and just left this place to rot. one summer's night, some kid walks by and the train was running all on it's own. wow, cool! without really thinking about it, he jumps on. he went in but he never came back out. died on the ride. good name for a band is that! oh c'mon! don't be like that! fine! go. leave. whatever! asshole. hello?! the stuff i do for my old man... shit!
have you seen your cousin? he's been gone too long for my liking. he's up to no good. when you see him, tell him i want him. kepler! oh thank god! it's gotten worse! can't you turn it off? it is off! stay back! - close down this ride and never return.- but you killed it! it's dead! i mean, dead but now really dead! i said never return! john? is that you? john? john?!
no way! we got one! that's â£2.50 please. it's just a burger we don't do chips, just move on! right thank you, love. yes, â£3.50! i'm sweating my balls off here! yeah, that's not gonna be enough, is it?! right, stop messing about. go and empty that mystery butcher of yours. these are the cold spots. but don't worry, i'll do the shooting. all you have to do is point the torch where i need to aim. we'll work our way through old factories... graveyards... abandonned houses... we'll save the daddy for last... the "haunted hospital"! the only problem is, the place is guarded. so we need to be very careful... and quiet. it's like "silent hill." do you have that burger steak i told you to bring? run! why are we running from a pooch when we've got guns?!
what do you see? !!! get it off me! these ghosts are all the same, too bloody stupid to realise that i've got a chainsaw! whoa! you killed a big one! show me where you're taking them. now, move! throw me around, sure! i don't mind, kick me in the face while you're at it! burgers?
the best in town! vegetarian, i take it? you! shut up! you children don't know what you're getting yourselves into. do you? we've got a matter of hours to put this mess right. give me the gun, lad. you're a good kid. you know that? how much trouble are we in? dad! alright, rich? you know that white meat?
yeah? (kepler mumbling) we can't get anymore. it's all gone! oh... bollocks. really? and everything we have left. we have to get rid of it all today. it's going moldy. anything else you wanna add? there's been an accident with the meat grinder. it fell apart. (benedict screams a dozen bad words) what... what are we gonna do now, lad?
just don't stress! think! i'll show stress. i'll sell that many burgers by the end of tonight, i'll belong in the guinness world bloody record book. just you watch. last chance... to break even. this isn't clever. i reckon it's time to phone an ambulance. help me get him outside you're not gonna tell anyone, are you?! this is all my fault. what is? why do you think there's so many ghosts here? because they like the ocean?
you do know that when you pop a ghost it comes back during a new moon? they come back from the dead?! and tonight is a new moon! it's a bit convenient that, isn't it? now, all my precious ghosts are either sat in a burger bun or a sewage pipe! why "your" ghosts? i brought them here. i've been building a collection for years without anyone getting hurt... apart from that one kid. who died on the ride! i told them to close it down! i warned them!
the ghost that was in here was a right nasty little bastard! times that nasty bastard by a hundred and you've got a very good reason to never go near that burger cafe! what's gonna happen? i'd rather not find out. my dad! we've got to warn him! didn't you hear what he said? look who finally decided to talk. you're obsessed with helping your dad and look at all the trouble we've caused. (background conversations)
i'm really disappointed that this is gonna be one of the last times i eat one of your delicious "burger blanc". a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do. as mayor. i officially crown you "king of the burgers". this is a proper burger poo, this one! so ben, what are you gonna be serving after tonight? well, actually. from now on i shall be serving the "burger noir". this is crap! give me that! you're no "king of burgers"! dad!
ritchie! what's the matter? everyone needs to leave, right now! what is it? ghosts! they're coming back! goats?! but why are they so angry? no dad! "ghosts!" the ones we used for the burgers! oh ghosts! you what?! we were serving ghosts?! dad, let's go!!! no!
we'll call it tax for almost killing me with those shite dog burgers. call the plumber now! it's a- leg it! it's gonna blow! it's okay! john's got a thing for dodging death. well thank fuck for that! it's john! your dad would have crucified me! he got out of the back door! that's every penny.
so much for the business though. ah well. you win some, you lose some. c'mon, you ready? let's go!